Wednesday, May 02, 2007

The (Granthony) Cain Mutiny

I’m telling you, Lynn Johnston is evil, man. She’s toying with us as she brings her saga of unconsummated Canadian lust to its inevitable and depressing conclusion.

Yesterday, Liz announced her plan to allow Granthony to squire her to an upcoming wedding. Today, Granthony scotches that idea by letting Liz know that he has invited someone else. In your face, Lizardbreath!

Unfortunately, we all know that this will not turn out to be a major obstacle in their path to true, tepid romance. Granthony’s “date” will turn out to be his daughter or his mom or his cousin Hortense from Manitoba. But wouldn’t it be great if he brought someone truly inappropriate, like a dirty “roadside” slut (i.e. any single woman interested in premarital sex), a transvestite “escort” or even a chimp on rollerskates? We can only dream…

Liz Patterson always desperately wants what she’s told she can’t have, so this smackdown from Mustache Boy will only intensify her ardor.

I want to look away, but I can’t.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Good call. The super dweeby file clerk that Granthony invited was clearly not even in league with an average high school girl. And (of course!) the new "heartthrob turn jerk" attraction in the form of Mason just added fuel to the fire that it is inevitable:

Elizabeth / Granthony... look for the marriage cum September, probably Liz's last storyline before going into freeze frame mode.